What it is: ...

...  Gosh darn I can't do this whole facade thing anymore.  I suppose in the end everybody needs something and I have nothing.  I'm just failing at life I feel right now and I almost broke up with my boyfriend today.  Today is just a terrible day though I will say otherwise cuz it should have been amazing but it's just not effecting me the same.  I was happy then I'm no longer so.  Fuck.  I just can't do this whole thing for much longer.  I just want...  Something to hold onto.  Someone to know me for who I am and not who I say I am.  That's all I want is for someone to know me cuz I sure as hell don't.  Then how could they?  I just want them to see through my clouded eyes and into my soul and though it is dark couldn't it be worth it??  Maybe it isn't.  Cuz my soul is so dark.  That sucks.