What it is: Sadness... I'd never cried for my Grandfather.

     Honestly I never did.  Until yesterday when we visited his grave.  I figured I would but I still didn't expect it as much as I would have prefered.  I just hugged my brother and started sobbing.  It didn't help that earlier I had felt like m heart was being teared in to two peices.  And that is the reason that I don't plan to speak civilly to my mother anytime soon.  My brother hurt my sister in unspeakable ways and nobody else can let it go so my sister threw a fit yesterday and it resulted with my mother calling my brother yelling at him and telling him not to come which ruined my freaking day.  So yeah that was what went down.  Not a good day.